One summer I was working at the Two Guys produce department in Dover and we
received twice the normal about of bananas. The manager said that we would be
throwing out half of them and I said let me stand next to them as I wrap the
lettuce and I will sell all of them. I used a technique I learned from my grandfather
who when a customer walked up to the meat counter would say instead of may I
help you, the Krakus Polish ham is especially nice today, may I slice a pound
for you. He was able to sell a lot of ham, which was his highest profit item,
using that technique. I just employed the same tactic with the bananas, which
I was in fact able to move out rather quickly, saying, things like these bananas
are so nice today, may I weigh out two bunches for you today?
How you present things makes a big difference. Over the last three weeks we
are exploring the four patterns of negative communication that can hurt or destroy
relationships: escalation, invalidation, negative interpretation and withdrawal.
Today we focus on negative interpretation.
Negative interpretations occur when a person consistently believes that the
motives of the other are more negative than is actually the case. When this
pattern gets set up, things become hopeless because we engage in mind reading.
One person assumes what the other person is thinking and why they doing what
they do without listening or examination.
We see what we expect to see and not what is. The reaction of the one who is
being seen negatively is to express more hostility. This is revenge, the return
of harmful thoughts, works or actions.
In the story of Jesus before Pilate we see one negative interpretation after
another. Pilate asks, "What charges do you bring against this man?"
Why, they asked Pilate, if he had not committed a crime we would not have brought
him to you. We are just following our law. If you don't believe us you are calling
us law breakers.
In Luke 23:2, it tells us that Jesus enemies invented reasons to execute Jesus.
They claimed that Jesus opposed Caesar and declared himself to be the King.
He opposes paying taxes and he claims to be King. We know that this was not
true, Jesus did not say that. But the leaders twisted and turned everything
around in order to have him crucified. They negatively interpreted everything
Jesus said and did, they thought in a certain way and everything was twisted
to fit their thinking.
Pilate also engaged in this negative thinking. Beginning his questioning with;
"What have you done wrong?" You must have done something wrong or
you wouldn't be here. What did you do to make them so angry?
Jesus answer was simple but Pilate once again interpreted the answer negatively.
My kingdom is not from this world, my kingdom is from another place. So you
are a King, said Pilate? Not being a believer, he couldn't see the Kingdom of
God.
Jesus said, "I came into the world to testify to the truth." Everyone
who is on the side of the truth listen's to me. Jesus said, he was the way the
truth and the life.
Pilate had this truth in front of him, but he asked what is truth? Pilate could
not see the truth. The truth come through Jesus' resurrection and the life and
in the word and the sacraments.
Despite his negativity, Pilate did recognize that Jesus did not deserve to die.
So he thought he had the perfect solution in the offer to free Jesus or Barabbas.
But much to his surprise the crowd chose Barabbas. They wanted Jesus dead. Throughout
the passion story this same destructive pattern continues. Everything Jesus
did and said was given a negative interpretation. The result was rejection and
destruction, just as happens to us when we engage in negative interpretation.
Every one of us use these destructive patterns of communication. We just do.
It is normal to point out what is bad rather than what is good, but that doesn't
mean it is right or that we have to do it.
Negative interpretations of Jesus life and ministry are all over the passion
story. We can break this cycle the way Jesus broke it in his ministry: by not
pre-judging others. By listening to others and affirming their childhood together
with us under the fatherhood of God. We can follow the advise in Philippians
4:8: "Brothers and sisters what is true, what is noble, what is right,
pure, lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy
think about these things." We can stop the complaints and the tearing down
and instead adopt and imitate our Lord's way of building up.
Jesus doesn't ask us to do the impossible. By living in Jesus' forgiveness in
what is true, right and pure, we can speak Jesus' truth and do the lovely and
praiseworthy. We have each and many times gotten in the way of the Holy Spirit.
We have not been like Jesus who did not return evil for evil, but suffered for
us, taking upon himself our sins so that we could be brought to salvation. Experiencing
the gift of salvation and forgiveness is the best defense against negative interpretation.
Forgiveness sets us free from the past and allows us to move forward into God's
future.
Look at others in the same way that Jesus has looked on you and you will change
your world. You will be set free from blame and finger pointing and you will
react to others as Jesus did. You will step out of the Kingdom of sin and into
the Kingdom of God.