There was a classic psychological study done at Stanford University. Twenty four volunteer college students were randomly assigned roles of prisoners or guards at a mock prison. Within days the guards became authoritarian and abusive while the prisoners became passive and depressed. The two week planned test had to be shut down after just 6 days because things got too extreme.

The experiment proved Jeremiah 17:9 "The human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked." The experiment demonstrates that within every human is the potential for evil. We were created in God's image but that image has been replaced by a corrupt human image, that puts itself first and in that service of the self, will abuse others. The civil law and the moral law is designed to constrain our behavior, o stop us from going wrong. The gospel alone shows us how to go right. The gospel alone shows us how to lift us all up instead of putting some down.

We are here today, to get into the word of God. We have come to allow the holy spirit to work in us this transformation. Only by having God pour himself into us can we change from being negators into validators who build up others rather than tearing them down. The Holy Spirit allows us to communicate fairly.

Last week we looked at escalation, when people respond negatively back and forth to each other upping the ante each time so that things get worse and worse. Today we consider invalidation, a pattern in which one subtly or directly puts down the thoughts, feelings or character of another.

Our lesson from Matthew shows us that Jesus' enemies escalated their arguments against him in order to destroy him, so they minimized who Jesus actually was through invalidation.

Jesus had just been turned over to Pilate, who compared Jesus to Barabbas. The crowd said Barabbas was better than Jesus. Invalidation is a pattern in which a person or a group puts down the character of another. Each of us knows what it is like to have another chosen over us or to be the point of a group's ridicule. The purpose is to make Jesus, less than human.

After the crowd rejected Jesus it was the soldiers who took over the process of invalidation with their name calling. "So you think you are the King of the Jews?" The soldiers put a mock robe on Jesus and the crown of thorns. They gave him a scepter and paid him mock homage.

They were attacking the very core of who Jesus was. He was the son of God, the beloved. They mocked our Lord by striking him. What a King he was, one who gets mocked and even beaten with his own scepter.

If any of us did this we would be arrested and jailed. But we are more sophisticated in our invalidation. But our practice of invalidation is just as destructive and sinful. Each of us denies Jesus lordship when we fail to acknowledge our sin and our need to be saved by Jesus. We mock Jesus every time we try to do it ourselves. Whenever we try to save ourselves we put ourselves in his proper place. We become invalidators every time we tell someone else how to think or feel, even if our motives are good. Like when someone would say to us: "I am sad." And we reply "Look on the bright side of things, you are so lucky and have so many nice things and opportunities." The other person will quickly cover up what they really feel because it becomes too risky to share since it hurts too much to be told that how you feel is wrong.

The scriptures preach to us that we should "Build up and not tear down." We can do this when we take the time to listen to others and respond to what they say without judging what they say. We do this when we respect each other's feelings. This does not mean agreeing with them, but it is important that we affirm what they are saying and their experience.

It is very important to take the time to listen and know the people who are significant in your life. Jesus took a lot of his time to listen to people that were not regarded by anyone else. As in the sitting down with and listening to the Gadarene demoniac Mark 5:1-20 or the Syrophoenician woman at the well Mark 7:25-30. He respected these people that no one else would even speak to. Jesus validation of these outcasts rehabilitated them.

I would doubt that anyone is tempted to disagree with me? That we should take time to listen and not pre-judge every conversation we enter. But this is very hard to do. Because we are so selfish and have such a tendency to sin, we like to raise ourselves up by stepping on the top of others. We are self-centered and self-worshipping, or if we have been brow beaten enough we worship our human oppressor.

Forgiveness makes it possible to break the cycle. Forgiveness can help us stop invalidating others. Because forgiveness is the very experience of Jesus validating us with his love. Because he has lifted us up, we can stop putting down others. Especially those whom we say that we love the most.

Forgiveness transforms us. This transformation comes not through the law, which only shows us that we are wrong, but through the gospel which shows us how to go right. Paul says, "the gospel is the power of God working within us, allowing us to love, be kind, show goodness, gentleness and self-control."

Living in the spirit of God teaches us to speak carefully and with kind words. To speak Jesus' language of Love to each other. Jesus always valued everyone else because he saw them as the children of his father. Help us to value each other in this same way. Empower us to hear our brother's and sister's thoughts and feelings. Help us always to validate instead of invalidate, to build up rather than tear down.